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Monday, May 9, 2011

Happy Mother's Day!

   In honor of Mother's Day I thought that I would treat myself to a new pair of shoes.  For weeks I have been staring at the feet of the women around me.  So, if you are a woman that I encounter on a daily basis, I highly suggest that you ensure your feet and toes are well manicured because I have been examining your shoes.  This means break out the ped-eggs, hoof cream, and nail polish if you want to remain nameless in my daily ramblings!
   Anyhoo...as an avid lover of flip-flops I have come to realize that I lack professionally appropriate footwear for my massively large feet.  I own two pair of business attire open toed shoes and am desperately in need of others.  As I gaze around at the feet that step in and out of my daily happenings I have come to find that I LOVE the summer-style wedged shoe look.  For some reason I have avoided these in the past and have never really found them to be all that attractive.  I'm assuming that the styles of them have evolved over the years and that producer's of shoes have creatively found a way to brain wash American women into believing that walking around on a two pound wedge of wood is not only physically attractive but is also good for our posture and overall podiatric comfort.  (Is podiatric even a word or did I just make it up?)  Never the less, I have fallen into the trap and thought that if I was to treat myself to a new pair of shoes, this was the weekend.
   So I joyfully slipped into my super-comfy foam Target-special flip-flops and made my way to "real" department stores that sold "real" shoes, rather than my normal $10 dollar steals.  I waded through racks of heels, butt-toning soles, and wedges only to find that 90 % of them had straps that wrapped around your ankles.  Now, if there are two things my lower extremities do not like, it is having my toes suffocated by leather or my unbelievable large ankle bones strangled by a strap.  I started wondering if I missed this little detail as I stalked the feet of those who passed by me or if their ankles were simply covered by pant legs.  After about 45 depressing minutes of shoe searching I finally found a pair worthy of trying on.  This Union Bay wedge was ADORABLE!  It was lacking the tight, pulse stopping, feet numbing ankle strap and only lifted my 5'8" frame up an additional 2 inches.  My heart fluttered with excitement when I finally handed the floor display to the clerk and asked for my size.  I was finally going to be "hip" in the footwear department and would probably walk a little taller knowing that, if nothing else, my feet would be cute when I returned to work on Monday.  As I waited anxiously for the clerk to return I glanced around to ensure that there were no other pairs for me to try on.  Nope...I had found the only non-strangling wedge in the entire store and was sure it was a match made in Heaven.  Finally the clerk returned with my anticipated box...I sat down, slipped my foot into the sophisticated, yet fun beachy-styled wedge and joyfully jumped to attention in front of the mirror.  I felt taller, I felt cuter, and best of all, my toes could breathe as they stuck out from under my pant leg.  I never thought to check the price-tag, but it didn't matter because I knew these shoes would be it.  Finally, the last examination was to occur...a simple lift of my pant leg and I would see how cute these shoes would be with a skirt...one...two...three...and...
   Needless to say, with the lift of my over-sized denim pant leg I realized why I had never tried a wedged shoe on before.  When your feet are a size ten...even the cutest pair of wedged shoes look like a 2x4 strapped to your foot.  Looks like I'll go back to Target and fine a sparkly pair of flip-flops again this year.

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